The unfinished memoirs of an imperfect lover
"H.A.T.E.U."

We fight and we claw and we bring each other down. We build each other up. We go round for round until we knock love out.

This has been our cycle for I don’t even know how long. I used to cry a lot and was very sad because I could never comprehend our dynamic. I just loved continuously, unconditionally.

When I would cry, I would sing to myself, “i cant want to hate you, make you pain like i do, still cant shake you off.”

I would just lie in bed, unknowing of what to do.

We have grown physically over the years, but I’m still unsure where I am mentally and emotionally.

Changes are happening, whether I’m ready or not. Sometimes my frustrations make me want to run away, but you’ve expressed to me that running away will do nothing for me. My problems will always follow me.

Plus I know a part of it is that you wouldn’t want to see me go. Shit, I couldn’t handle seeing you go either. But I encourage you to follow your heart.

Sometimes the rifts are created from little bickering, like, “HE HEHE okay cool story bro!”

If we had to lose all our progress over something so trivial, I think I would go insane.

I remember feeling so secure. Tunes like “Magic” tickle our eardrums, and we would spend hours resting in your car telling stories and put no weight on the conversations or responses. The late days were cold, and your windows would fog up. I call it crazy, stupid love.

Our feelings certainly showed.

Remember how innocent the love started as? It was Mario and junk food. It was playing Kingdom Hearts and listening to Katy Perry. It was dressing up for Halloween, or eating cookies in each others bed until I feel asleep. Or me sneaking out in the middle of the night just to see you or give you some flowers I picked on the way there.

How did that turn into, “H.A.T.E.U.”?

This topic is something i question, and feel passionately about.

Although, nowadays, its been more, “I cant wait to love you, make you love me like I loved you.”

I suppose only time will tell, but times are changing.


Power sleeps within you. If you give it form it will give you strength

"Obsessed" (Re Tr 2)

Certain songs play and I am washed away with a tsunami of emotions. Happy, sad, euphoria. Anything and everything. Experiences of all kinds.
‘Digital Love- Daft Punk’ came on and I lit up with blissful memories. I remember filming you dance to that song, and then edit it into a digital music video. Those were the most adorable moves Ive ever seen. Then again, I love all your dance moves.
You dance through my mind and dreams every day. No matter what happens, I couldn’t forget you.

"Obsessed" (Re)

It’s strange that when I’m most desperate, I start to hear you, see you, and taste you in everything I do. Every single part of me knows how crazy I am about you. Just like breathing. It’s natural instinct to breathe, so if you pass out, your body goes in to survival mode to keep you alive.
Much like that, my instincts kick in because I know I never want to lose you. My heart takes over again.
My desperation kicks in because I never want to starve from lack of your love.

"Obsessed"

This used to be a word thrown around me a lot. It was used to describe my actions and attitudes to the single person of my romantic interests. ‘Obsessed’ later became the term described for me as ‘just loving too much’.
It took a lot of getting used to for the majority of people around you. But people eventually got used to it, or got the boot. You started to care back. Care turned into kinda like, and then into love. You started putting your foot down. “Nobody talks to him that way!”
I was a love-stuck 14 year old boy, who before you grew to know me, you thought was a creepy, smelly obsessive kid. Through your broken hearted days of your ex lover, I cared for you. Thrived on your happiness when you’d see me. In the midst of that, you opened your eyes. Little did you know at the time, every breath you took in my presence, you were falling in love. You saw the light. You admitted who you thought I was when I was 14, to me being a sweet kind hearted lover. And didn’t smell!! That made me laugh a little when you said you thought I smelled just by the way I looked. I was just fat, sheesh.
Now, 8, almost 9 years later, who are we? I don’t think you’d call me obsessed anymore. I don’t know if you think I don’t care anymore. I know a lot has changed, but not me knowing that I want you, or that I’m irreversibly obsessed and in love with you. I’m just a more sad version. Still, I don’t think the last man on earth could impress you as much as I have.


ex-cuse-u:

Life’s too short for me to not enjoy these little moments

"Betcha gon know"

You probably whispered as the days passed, and you sat there, knowing full well what was going on.
As you say “I love you”, and hear me say it back. You must have wondered what was going through my head too. You just smiled. “Betcha gon know.”
Each day, I hold your heart, and you hope every day that I will come around.
Days never owning up to you, nights you spent crying. I cried too.
You reached for me, I was supposed to save you.
Fading breaths, “Betcha gon know how this feels, even if this the last thing I do.”
You knew what was going on. Hurting still, you’re growing stronger again; healing.
I will save you. Yes, I will know your pain.
I will feel what ever you bring my way, I deserve it. I am at your mercy.

rlyhigh:

hickeys are gross i want ten


erinkrystynax:

adorabagel:

if i die resurrect me with this video

this is the only thing on the internet that matters this should be our tourism campaign